Inner Child Syndrome
– the struggle is REAL
About this healing “business” … so many people are talking about… this energy… emotions… or the mindset…
Listen…
I don’t have the time or extra money to invest in something that is not really going to give me tangible results, my spouse will call me crazy and will advise against wasting money, I am not sure if I can do it as I haven’t done anything like this before, and finally, how is this going to improve my life, anyway… answering questions…? Really? Are you serious?
How is an internal transformation going to bring me money and food on the table… Provide for my family?
It’s understandable to have reservations about investing time and resources in coaching when financial security is a pressing concern. However, it’s crucial to consider how an unhealed version of yourself may be hindering your ability to thrive both personally and professionally.
The unhealed version of you may be plagued with limiting beliefs, missed opportunities, fear-based boundaries, and a scarcity mindset, all of which can impede your progress and limit your earning potential.
By healing your inner child, you can begin to address these deep-seated wounds and transform them into strengths. The healing process can help you cultivate courage, confidence, positivity, and a sense of safety, which can translate into more authentic, effective decision-making, increased self-value, and greater opportunities for financial success.
Your beliefs shape your reality, and by focusing on healing and growth, you can begin to manifest abundance, prosperity and wealth. By healing your inner child, you can achieve greater clarity, purpose, and passion, which can help you demand more from yourself and others.
With clearer boundaries, a stronger sense of identity, and increased self-confidence, you can ask for promotions and better pay, and take calculated risks with greater ease.
Ultimately, the healing process is an investment in your personal and professional development, one that can have a significant impact on your overall well-being and success. Don’t let fear or uncertainty hold you back from achieving your full potential. Embrace the power of healing, and watch as your life begins to transform in ways you never thought possible.
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Let me ask you this…
– how is the unhealed version of you manifesting?
a scarcity mindset perhaps… limiting beliefs, lost opportunities… – fear-based boundaries… sensitivities, not a lot of progress… a sense of uncertainty and hopelessness… helplessness…
What is in your mind – it will manifest – what you focus on manifests – you live a life you focus on – Tony Robbins
How can an unhealed version of you be more courageous, more confident, and more positive? How can they be more powerful? How can that wounded, fear-based version of you… manifest abundance, prosperity, and wealth????
How can that unhealed version of you feel safe?
How is healing my inner child going to help me financially?
Your inner child is just that: a scared, abandoned, limited, full of cognitive distortions little child that is lost, insecure… with wounds and fears that dictate that child’s inner state, run their entire adult inner well-being. How can a person with so much pain and hurt be confident, take calculated risks, do deals, sign contracts and have their decisions NOT impacted by fear and scarcity mind?
How can they perform well, be authentic and how can they self-actualise?
You attract what you focus on and what you BELIEVE in – the universe will give you what YOU BELIEVE you are worth – in terms of wealth and abundance. Beliefs manifest – thoughts that turn into beliefs – eventually manifest
Healing will give you:
– better stories – healed wounds
– more courage – fears addressed and transformed
– more confidence
– more Self – value (you will demand and ask for more) – people will value YOU more and pay you more – would you pay someone who is not confident and doesn’t believe in what they do, who questions themselves and have second thoughts every other thought they have?
– a clearer path forward, clearer vision and passion
– healthy boundaries (not fear-based)
– more Self – worth – easier to ask for that promotion
– strength and more confidence
– reduced or eliminated sensitivities – they won’t impact you as much as they are- now, or they won’t impact you at all
– better focus – focus on the task
– focus on Self- actualisation – not Self-image
– focus on your agenda, passion and mission – not your wounds and fears
– saved energy – fear takes a lot of energy, sensitivities, and wounds take an enormous amount of energy
– clearer identity, expression and necessary spaces – better, healthier and stronger boundaries
– increased Self- confidence, Self- belief, Self-worth – you will charge more, you will ask for more money, you will demand to be better rewarded, you will request better pay, you will be more likely to move towards more money.
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I’ve done healing before- how is this different? – it helped a little bit. How can I be sure that it will help me the way it should? How is this way more powerful and effective?
You may be thinking that you’ve already tried healing before, and it didn’t work. But how do you know that the previous method was the right one for you? It’s possible that you followed someone else’s advice and their way of healing, which may not have been effective for your unique circumstances and needs.
Think about it this way – you are a unique energy that entered this world with a purpose, a mission, and a blueprint that is specific to you. However, society and external forces have imposed a ready-made form upon you, which may not be suitable for your individual needs. This could be the reason why you’re struggling and feeling stuck.
Coaching is different because it allows you to discover your own path, your own blueprint, and your own purpose. It’s not about following someone else’s agenda or way of doing things. It’s about co-creating your life with the guidance of a coach who can help you tap into your true Self and that Self will guide you.
By working with a coach, you can identify the areas in your life that need healing and develop a plan that is tailored to your specific needs. You can also gain the tools, techniques, and support to overcome any obstacles that are holding you back.
So, if you’re feeling sceptical about coaching, consider the fact that it’s a powerful and effective way to transform your life. It’s not about fixing you, but rather, it’s about helping you become the best version of yourself. It’s about helping you realise your true potential and living a life that is aligned with your values, purpose, and vision.
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Why my previous attempts did not heal me, did not help me as much as I expected?
– you were, most likely following other people’s advice, their ways, their agenda and what helped them… the problem with this is… they are not you!
They have different circumstances, they follow different paths, they have different missions, and their purpose is most likely – very different.
“blueprints”, frameworks are great as long as they allow you to discover YOU – your agenda, your ways, your path, your purpose
You are pure energy that came into this world – this gigantic building site to gain shape, to gain flavour, to experience SELF, to see SELF.
You came here to have a certain shape, form, flavour, colour… certain experiences – but you were given a ready-made form that has been used for hundreds of years – if not thousands … – it is out of date, it is not fit for purpose, it is not for TODAY’s unstable world and most certainly, it is not for YOU – as an individual.
You have your own blueprint, you have your own path, agenda and mission – you came here to experience the world or, more likely, to co-create it. We are all co-creators to a different degree. You came to experience and co-create your world – in YOUR own, unique way.
The reason you might be suffering is that you are in the wrong form – you try to fit into an environment you were meant to CHANGE…
You are trying to fit in the box you were meant to change, grow and expand – you were meant to fix not to fit – you were meant to confront not to conform, you were not to make people happy – you are here to make things happen.
You were meant to contribute, create and challenge – not conform, accept and settle!
Is there any wonder that you feel the way you feel?
Not being Self and in the right “form” is… extremely painful, limiting, uncomfortable at best and it is confusing…!
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You don’t know what you don’t know…
Transformation requires the right information and guidance, the right questions, and a solid process that is uniquely designed for you. But your mind may perceive new knowledge as unknown and, therefore, potentially dangerous. Your mindset will filter out thoughts and ideas that do not align with its existing belief system, effectively limiting your growth and potential.
The truth is that the right questions and ideas for healing your inner wounds are not revolutionary, but the way they are put together, the sequence they follow, and the power of the combination of energy, emotions, and thoughts – is new. You are not just a human doing, but a human being with the capacity to thrive when you are aligned with your true self.
Many people are used and abused by the system and are functioning as human doings for other people’s well-being. But true alignment comes from being, not doing. Our actions, choices, and decisions would be completely different if they were coming from our being rather than just what we do, think or feel.
The solutions and answers you seek are already inside you, waiting to be uncovered and discovered. If your mind held the solutions, you would have recognised them and used them already. Not finding a solution to a problem means that you need to try to find something new by asking the right questions.
Don’t let fear or uncertainty hold you back from discovering what you don’t know. The right coach can guide you through the process of unlocking your potential and discovering your true purpose. It may not be easy, but the rewards are worth it.
The truth is, you don’t know what you don’t know. But what if what you don’t know is the key to unlocking your true potential, your purpose, and your happiness? What if the missing piece of the puzzle that is holding you back from living your best life is something you have yet to discover?
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All you need is the right destination, the right roadmap and no roadblocks.
To transform successfully, you need the right information and the right guidance.
You need the right procedure, the right questions and a solid process – uniquely designed for you.
What you don’t know – your mind will perceive as new, unknown and therefore, potentially DANGEROUS
Your mind is likely not to approve anything that it doesn’t really know, because it will want to protect you and most importantly it is, quite clearly, IN CHARGE
The mindset will filter out thoughts and ideas that do not align with the belief system that it created and will reject or deny anything that might contradict or oppose these ideas – your mindset will protect you, but it will also limit you – if you are not open-minded and if you are not in control of your cognition, thinking patterns and meta-programmes.
The right questions are not new – the ideas for healing your inner wounds are not revolutionary – the way they are put together, the sequence they follow, and the power of the combination of energy, emotions and thoughts is new.
You are not a human DOING – the system made you into one. You are a human BEING. By being the right human we are doing the right things and we manifest the right things – we thrive.
Most people are used and abused by the system and are functioning as human doings for other people’s well-being…
Doing must come from being – if it comes from doing, it manifests harmful things for being…. SIMPLE. It will not be aligned with our well-being.
What is interesting here, is that our being is now a reflection of what is everybody DOING – and therefore our being suffers – we need to be in tune with the being, with nature to thrive – we are nature, not a part of it. We impact nature as well as no other species in the history of the planet… – even dinosaurs were aligned with nature…
If what we experience was coming from our being – we would have a completely different reality. Our actions, choices and decisions would be completely different.
All of the solutions and answers are not in what we do, how we think or how we feel… – they are deep inside – we don’t know them yet, they have to be uncovered, discovered. If our solutions were in our mind, in what we do and how we feel – we would recognise them as solutions and would use them.
Not finding a solution to a problem means we need to try to find something new that hasn’t been used or is not known yet by asking the right questions.
How can you function well if you are unhealed?
It’s impossible to function well and be truly happy if you’re still carrying unhealed wounds and fears within you. The truth is, those inner struggles can keep you trapped in a safety zone, unable to push past your limitations and reach your full potential.
Think about it – how can you be okay if you don’t have the necessary inner space to process your emotions and experiences? How can you be okay if your nervous system is in a constant state of fight or flight, leaving you overwhelmed and unable to focus? How can you be okay if you’re constantly masking your emotions and using coping mechanisms just to survive?
Your thoughts and emotions are heavily influenced by your inner child’s wounds and fears, and that can lead to limiting beliefs and cognitive distortions that hold you back. It’s like having a filter on your perception of reality that only allows certain thoughts and ideas to pass through.
And let’s not forget about the physical toll all this can take on you. Your body can carry the weight of unhealed trauma and stress, leaving you feeling exhausted and drained.
That’s why it’s so important to address these issues and work towards healing. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s a necessary one if you want to live your best life. Coaching can help guide you through the process, providing the right questions, guidance, and support to help you uncover the solutions that are already within you.
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How can you feel well if you have wounds inside? How can you be confident if you have fears inside and you are still in the safety zone – trapped by your fears?
How can you be ok if….
– you don’t have the necessary inner space
– you have unhealthy for you, fear-based boundaries
– your nervous system is in a constant fight or flight state, it is overloaded and overwhelmed
– you zoom out frequently, you dissociate, and you are not in the present moment – your focus is somewhere else?
– you are masking, and you are using your coping mechanisms to survive emotionally, mentally and spiritually? – masking and other coping mechanisms take a lot of energy!
– your focus and attention are out of control – you find yourself unable to concentrate on anything and you are unable to finish anything
– you have a whole range of sensitivities that are guarding your inner Self and limit you in many ways as they try to warn you when your fears and wounds are about to be triggered – they signal their presence – do you want them to be there?
– you still have your inner child energy, emotions and thoughts running your inner sphere
– your thoughts are based on and materialise the wounds and fears developed during childhood
– your thoughts emotions and feelings are created through the lens of your inner child’s wounds and fears – they distort your perception of reality, they influence your choices and decisions and those create your reality
– you still have inner child stories running your cognition – producing your limiting beliefs and cognitive distortions
– your decisions, choices, actions and habits are heavily influenced by the inner child – wounds and fears that are created by the syndrome – they play an enormous role not only in how you perceive the world but also in what you manifest and what kind of reality you create for yourself
Is it any wonder that your reality has so much to wish for?
Coaching is often met with objections and scepticism, especially when it comes to delving into one’s inner world. Many people believe that they are in control of their reality and that they do not need anyone else’s help to change their life.
However, the reality is far from perfect, and we need to adapt and adjust to it constantly. Our mindset, which is often rigid and inflexible, keeps us trapped in our comfort zone, preventing us from growing and progressing.
To co-create our reality, we must take charge of our inner sphere and use our executive functions to shape our lives the way we want. However, we have been programmed to create someone else’s reality, and we often forget to focus on our best selves. If we are to progress and prosper, we must heal our inner wounds and take charge of our energy.
The world is changing rapidly, and it is time to create our own space and adapt to the new reality. However, fear-based boundaries often hold us back from taking advantage of the opportunities that arise during times of change.
We must create emotional, mental, and spiritual spaces that enable us to create the reality we want for the next phase of our life, however long that may be. This is a time for growth, expansion, and progress, and coaching can help us achieve that. So let go of your fears and take control of your reality today.
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Your reality was never meant to be perfect. It might be perceived as perfect in a moment, but that very moment passes too…
You were meant to adapt and adjust to this ever-changing reality of yours – that is planned to make you grow, expand, progress and give you wisdom…
You were meant to change as everything else changes around you – unfortunately, an inflexible and rigid mindset does not think so…
You can, you are meant to control your inner sphere – you are meant to use your executive functions. You are meant to co-create your reality with them – unfortunately – you were programmed to create somebody else’s reality…
Our mindset doesn’t want you to be in control, it wants you safe – I mean… in your safety zone prison…
You went through trauma growing up, but you also must create your adult version of Self – you should be self-actualising and focusing on your best Self. You can only do that when you are HEALED and in charge of your inner energy.
You should progress and prosper – not pivot and procrastinate all the time.
As you may have noticed, major changes are happening in the world right before our eyes. – our world is being re- arranged … to put it mildly…
The new world is being created right in front of our eyes… – the world as we know it will no longer exist soon.
We can only live in the present – we know the past to have the knowledge and wisdom to create our future which we don’t know yet – precisely because we ARE TO CREATE it – otherwise, it would be known to us.
During this change – there are many opportunities created, how can you take them if you still have fear-based boundaries holding you back?
The time of change is the best to create your own space, to adapt and to adjust – you just need to fall into place – you don’t have to change the whole world around you – you just adapt and adjust and create what you want and how you want it…
It is the best time to be building your spaces: emotional, mental and spiritual ones.
It is the best time to create and to re-arrange your reality in the way you want, for the next phase of your life – however long this might be…
How can you create a great reality if your inner Self is wounded and severely limited by fear?
How can you create spaces with your unhealed Self?
Creating a great reality with an unhealed inner Self is like building a castle on a foundation of sand. No matter how magnificent the castle looks, it will inevitably crumble and fall due to the instability of its base. Similarly, if your inner Self is wounded and severely limited by fear, how can you expect to create a solid, stable reality that can withstand the test of time and challenges?
Without the necessary space and boundaries, your inner Self will be constantly under attack from external and internal factors that prevent growth and progress. A lack of control or power over your thoughts, emotions and energy only amplifies these challenges, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
Furthermore, if you are still operating from your inner child’s energy, emotions and way of thinking, you are limiting your potential to grow and evolve into a better version of yourself. It is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole – it just doesn’t work.
Creating a new reality requires a HEALED version of yourself, one that is ready to face the challenges of the future with resilience, strength, and adaptability. It may be a daunting task, but it is essential to leave behind the old Self that no longer serves you and embrace the new and better version of yourself that is waiting to be discovered.
So, ask yourself: do you want to create something new and better with something old and worse? Can your unhealed version of yourself cope with the challenges of creating a new reality and a new version of Self? The choice is yours, but remember, creating a solid and stable reality starts with healing your inner Self first.
Creating spaces with your unhealed Self is nearly impossible. You need to have the necessary inner space, healthy boundaries, and power over your thoughts and emotions to thrive. If you are still operating from your inner child’s energy, emotions, and way of thinking, it’s time to recognise that it’s holding you back.
If you’re facing a new future with your old Self, how can you expect success? The key to creating a new reality is to stretch your healed version of yourself. You can’t create something new and better if you’re holding onto something old and worse. Your unhealed version of yourself may struggle with the challenges of creating a new version of yourself, but it’s important to remember that growth and progress require effort and courage.
If you’re looking to create a great reality for yourself, it’s essential to heal your inner Self and work towards becoming your best self. It’s not an easy task, but the rewards are worth it. With healed inner energy, healthy boundaries, and control over your thoughts and emotions, you’ll be better equipped to face the challenges of creating a new reality. So, let go of the old and embrace the new – your best Self is waiting to be discovered.
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How can you thrive if…
– if you don’t have the space
– if you don’t have any boundaries
– if you don’t have control or power over your thoughts, emotions and your energy?
– if you are still in your inner child energy, emotions and way of thinking?
How can you expect success if you face your new future with your old Self?
I am confident that creating a new reality would significantly stretch your HEALED version of you – but the question is… Do you want to create something new and better with something old and worse?
How will your unhealed version of you cope with the challenges of creating new things? -creating a new version of Self?
Healing is painful, healing is hard….
Healing is a difficult and often painful journey, but it is essential for personal growth and transformation. Some may object to the idea of healing, believing that they don’t know how to heal, or that it is too difficult. However, it is important to remember that your mind does not know how to heal – your inner Self does.
You do not need to have all the answers or knowledge to begin the healing process. Your inner sphere holds the key to healing, and it knows all that it needs to know. It can be challenging to accept that we do not control everything in our lives, including our thoughts, emotions and bodies. However, as we grow and gain more control, we can learn to influence and change these aspects to some degree.
While healing is painful, it is a process that brings positive change, rather than keeping us stagnant in our pain and fear. As we heal, things start to accelerate and change more quickly, as different aspects of our lives are interconnected. Staying unhealed, on the other hand, is not easier, more convenient, or faster in any way. It only perpetuates our wounds and fear-based boundaries.
The decision to heal is a personal choice that only you can make. However, it is essential to consider whether your current choices are serving your best interests. Choosing to remain the same means that your wounds and fear-based boundaries will still be present, and nothing will change. Healing, on the other hand, offers a new start, a new perspective, a new way of being, and a new inner state.
It can be challenging to face our wounds and fears, but it is the only way to truly gain power, control and safety in our lives. True power and control come from facing our fears head-on and making the decision to heal. It’s important not to let our saboteur talk us out of healing and to do what is best for us, not based on our minds, but on our inner Self.
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I don’t know how to heal… – correct. YOU do not know how to heal. Your mind doesn’t know how to heal – your inner Self DOES.
You do not need to know anything – your inner sphere knows all it has to know…
It is hard to realise we do not run our energy, we do not run our minds, we do not even run our bodies… – well, yes, we do maintain our body, we do influence our emotions, we may change our thinking – but only to some degree – the more you grow, the more control you get.
Healing is painful and it is a process – but it is a process that changes things for the better – rather than the process that keeps everything unchanged, that keeps the status quo…
Healing, like almost every other process, has its ways to accelerate – it gets better in time and things happen faster as many things are linked or intertwined with each other. Once you change one thing, it changes other things…
Healing is painful… but staying unhealed is not? staying wounded and in fear …– is it easier? Is it more convenient? is it faster in any way? is it better in any way…?
The truth is…
The healing process or staying unhealed are both painful but the healing option offers change.
The process of growing, healing, creating, and expanding NEVER ENDS.
Choosing to stay the same means that your wounds are still there, your fear-based boundaries are there… – nothing changes – Healing offers a new start, a new perspective, a new way of being and a new inner state. Worth a try? – you decide.
It is your choice – but I would pose a question here… – are all choices good? is the choice you are making a good one for you?
You might have sabotaged yourself in the past – the issue here is for you to make a choice, a decision that is based on your sense of safety… – you might want to stay in control of your inner sphere as it is – that gives you a sense of control – not a real control – and that might comfort you quite a bit.
The true power, control and safety are in facing your wounds and fears. Not tomorrow, not next week or next month – today. That is control, that is power.
Please don’t let your saboteur talk you out of healing. You are in control. Do what’s best for you, not according to your mind but your inner Self.
If you want to change but are afraid of healing…
Possible objections to coaching can arise when an individual is hesitant to heal from past traumas and believes that merely changing their behaviour will suffice. However, avoiding addressing the core issues will only provide temporary relief and lead to future problems. These issues will resurface, no matter how hard an individual tries to ignore them. It takes courage to face these wounds and fears head-on, but the benefits of healing outweigh the temporary comfort of avoiding them.
Coaching can be uncomfortable and challenging as it requires individuals to confront their innermost selves, which they may have ignored for years. The coach’s role is not to make individuals feel good, entertain them, or reassure them that they are “good enough.” Instead, it is to help individuals grow, progress, and gain awareness of their true potential. This growth can be hampered by the conflict within the individual, who may resist change due to their fear of the unknown.
It’s important to recognise that there is a choice to be made. Individuals can choose to continue suffering or take steps towards healing, progress, and a better future. However, letting go of control can be difficult for individuals with control sensitivity disorder. They may feel that giving up control means sacrificing their safety, but true safety comes from controlling their inner world and emotions.
It’s a common misconception that an individual has to be ready to begin the healing process. The truth is, if the idea of healing keeps nagging at them, making them uncomfortable, and resurfacing in their thoughts, then they are ready to start. The choice to heal will never be taken away, but the energy surrounding the issue will not give up either. It’s crucial to face the fear and make a choice, or the energy will continue to grow and eventually force the issue.
While coaching and healing can be uncomfortable, facing the innermost fears and wounds is necessary to achieve real growth and progress. The benefits of healing outweigh the temporary comfort of avoiding core issues. It’s important to remember that the choice is always yours, but it’s also important to recognise that the energy surrounding the issue will never give up, so it’s better to face the issue sooner rather than later.
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You can change, but NOT HEAL…
The issue here is that the change will be good but most likely the goodness of that change will not going to last…
If you don’t heal but change – you might be covering the reasons why you should heal… – not addressing the core issues will not make the wounds and fears disappear – it may make them not so noticeable for a while…
The chances are that they will resurface again in the future – as your inner Self will be determined to get rid of them – regardless of your level of willingness to deal with them.
I realise that…
I might be pushing you and making you uncomfortable – my job is not to make you feel great, to entertain you, to make you feel better about yourself, to reassure you that you are “good enough”.
My job is to disturb you, to make you uncomfortable and to deal with the inner sphere you’ve been ignoring for so long…
I am pushing you towards growth, progress, awareness and wisdom – exactly what your mind is trying to prevent you from doing – be aware of that conflict, the resistance you might have in you. You need to raise above it by recognising it and calling it out.
There is very little choice, but there is one…!
– heal or continue to suffer
– heal, progress or stay the same
– heal and be ready for your future or possibly fail to create one that you want …
– heal and face the new world with the new Self or face the new world with the old Self… –
Like I said… there is a choice to be made
With your control sensitivity disorder – you might not want to give up your control as it will mean that you give up your safety… – very tough, indeed.
You might be thinking… NOBODY is going to tell me to heal, no one is going to tell me what to do… – exactly – control lost…
The real power comes from control over your emotions, your mind and your energy. The real safety lies in your controlling your inner world – a sense of safety that you so desperately need.
I want you to set yourself free from the sensitivities and wounds and the limitations that different types of fear impose on you.
My dream, my mission is to set you free from the prison you created for yourself as a child… which was necessary for you to feel safe then, to survive… you don’t need that prison anymore.
Some of you might be thinking… oh… I am not ready…
If it is nagging you, making you feel a bit uncomfortable, if it keeps coming up, guess what – you are perfectly ready – at least ready to try.
If you choose not to “go in there” – it will not go away – it will most likely be getting stronger and stronger until you finally decide ok…, ok…. I’m ready.
The choice is yours and it will never be taken from you – EVER. What has to be said is that the energy does not give up EVER either… it is relentless, it will not leave you alone, it will not give you peace…– if that is what you are hoping for… it’s not on its agenda
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Your choice will not be taken away from you, but it will be heavily influenced by your environment and by the people around you.
Coaching is a powerful tool that can help individuals transform their lives and achieve their goals. However, there are possible objections that may arise when considering this path. One such objection is the fear of losing one’s autonomy. The truth is, while our choices are not taken away from us, they can be heavily influenced by our environment and the people around us. Inner child syndrome is a common issue that can lead to depending on the opinions, agendas, schedules, and moods of others. But to move forward in life, one must choose to create their future and choose what is best for them.
Many people who have inner wounds and fears may also be influenced by them, impacting their decisions and choices. They may be attached to the sensitivities attached to their wounds and fear the discomfort and painful memories that healing brings to the surface. However, those who are worried about what others will think, say or react may need healing more than they realise. They must learn to detach their sense of value from other people’s reactions to them and create their own spaces while seeking their own approval to change.
When people start to heal and make changes, others may not like the new version of them. They may have higher vibrations, be more present, grounded, assertive, and confident, and have better boundaries. They may require recognition, attention, and personal space and demand that their needs be met, putting themselves first. This change may upset others, especially those who benefited from the lack of boundaries.
However, healing is not about them, and it will not change them unless they are willing to be understanding and supportive. People who are meant to be around the healed version of you will stay, while those who do not acknowledge, appreciate, respect your boundaries and support you will leave. Those who are apprehensive about any change in you may be reflecting their fear of the unknown, fear of change, or unwillingness to heal.
It is important to pay attention to seeking anyone’s approval to deal with internal, super-private and personal affairs. One must realise that they are meant to heal for themselves and not for anyone else. While seeking the support of others, they should not let others’ opinions, comfort, or feelings come before their own. It is essential to remember that healing is a journey, and those who are truly meant to be in your life will support you every step of the way.
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If you have inner child syndrome – you are likely to follow others, to depend on their opinion, their agenda, their schedule, their mood…
There is only one way forward – and it is forward… – you cannot stay in the same place – if you stay – you stay behind, and you do not grow…
The only way forward is to choose the future – create your future – the best way forward is to choose what is best for you – the best way for you is to choose YOU…
Being in your inner child’s energy, emotions and way of thinking – means you are more than likely to depend on other people’s opinions and views. You cannot choose somebody else’s shoes and be sure that you are going to like them…
As someone who has inner wounds and fears- you might be influenced by them, and they might impact your decisions and your choices – examine if that is the case.
You might also be influenced by any or many sensitivities attached to the fears and wounds inside. You might want to avoid the discomfort and the obviously painful memories, wounds that healing brings onto the surface.
If you are worried about what other people will think, what they will say, how they will react – you might need healing more than you realise…
You may want to create your agenda, you may need to detach your sense of value from other people`s reactions to you.
You might want to create your own spaces, and yes, seek approval, by all means, – you want to have YOUR approval to change, your permission to move ahead…
You need to approve the need to grow, expand and heal.
You need to permit yourself to put YOUR needs first, to make sure you are strong and powerful, and you follow YOUR agenda first.
You have always wanted to be supportive of other people, the last thing you want to be is to be unkind, ungrateful and uncaring… naturally, you want to check with everybody if you’re healing and, if there are any changes that it may bring, are ok with them.
And, yes, they will all be supportive until and unless your agenda is in their way, your plan is not exactly what they had in mind for you, until your actions tell them something ever so slightly different from what they were expecting to hear, see and experience from you…
They will be all for it until it tells them something about themselves that they may not like… they will be ok with everything until you start setting your boundaries, creating your space, or heaven forbid… you will actually express yourself…
If you’re still willing to check with them, to make sure, that they are prepared, and that they are not surprised by the changes in you – it tells me that you care about their opinion, their comfort, their feelings and emotions more than you care about your own.
It is entirely up to you to continue doing that or change.
Healing is not about them – it will not change them, but it may change them… for someone who is more understanding and supportive of you.
The people around you may not like the healed version of you because…
– you will have higher vibrations than them
– you will be more in control – more present, more grounded, more assertive and confident
– you will have much better, healthier and stronger boundaries
– you will require recognition, acknowledgement and attention
– you will require personal space: spiritual, emotional, mental
– you will demand that your needs are met
– you will put yourself FIRST – not them
– you will become happier and stronger which will not vibe with their lower frequencies
– you will upset people with your boundaries – especially the people who benefited from you having none…!
You are meant to heal ONLY for yourself – nobody else. You are there for others around you as long as they acknowledge you, appreciate you, respect your boundaries and support you. No more one-way track…
People who are meant to be around the healed version of you will stay. They will be inspired by you, they will support you and you will be able to support them in the ways you could not so far, as you were giving your energy and your power to people who wasted or abused them and did not magnify them… and you wonder why you are so drained, exhausted… unappreciated and unheard… It may be that… it is not your fault after all…
The people around you may be apprehensive about any change in you as it is a reflection of their fear of the unknown, fear of change. They might think it is dangerous, and unreasonably risky (staying unhealed is risky, by the way) as their mind may not like the change at all. It has nothing to do with you.
They may not understand the idea of having wounds or having boundaries made out of fear…
They don’t feel your wounds, they don’t feel your fear… they do not experience your fear… they don’t know how trapped you feel, how restricted you are inside. It is your job to deal with these issues.
Their lack of support may be based on their unwillingness to heal, or aversion to anything spiritual or emotional (conditioning). They might base their standpoint on a very limited amount of information about healing, they might have a very negative or very vague idea of healing.
Pay attention to when you seek anyone`s approval to deal with your internal, super-private, personal affairs … – there… can you see it?
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Healing is not getting healthy – it is getting hurt and confused… – you will feel healthy after the healing process
Despite the potential benefits of coaching, some may object to the practice for a variety of reasons. One possible objection is the fear of exacerbating existing physical health issues. As healing is not just about getting healthy, but also involves getting hurt and confused, there may be concerns about how coaching can impact physical health.
People suffering from inner child syndrome may experience a range of physical symptoms that have roots in emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. The constant state of fight or flight, stress, anxiety, and overwhelm can drain energy supplies, leaving individuals feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. While there may be some energy in the morning, there is limited capacity to cope with anything else throughout the day.
Continuous release of chemicals from the brain into the bloodstream can trigger the nervous system to keep energy usage to a minimum. This results in shutting down many bodily functions, with brain functioning reduced to a bare minimum. The question then becomes, how can organs function normally with chemicals in the blood signalling danger all the time? With the body and brain partially shut down and in survival mode, the potential for optimal function is greatly reduced.
These concerns highlight the need for a balanced approach to coaching, ensuring that the physical health and well-being of individuals are taken into consideration. It is essential to understand the potential risks and benefits of coaching and work with a coach who is trained and experienced in dealing with these issues. By doing so, individuals can experience the benefits of coaching while minimising any potential negative impacts on their physical health.
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Healing is very much about your physical health – there are many physical consequences of suffering from the inner child syndrome – there is a whole range of physical symptoms that have roots in our emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. See the list.
If you are in a constant state of fight or flight, if you are constantly stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, you are constantly using your energy supplies and you will feel extremely drained and overwhelmed all the time – you might have some energy in the morning, but this is it, very limited capacity to cope with anything.
Your brain continuously releases chemicals into your blood system, and it triggers your nervous system to keep your energy usage right down to the bare minimum. Your body will shut down many functions, your brain functioning will be reduced to a minimum –
Your body will shut down and your brain will shut down partially – therefore not so visibly.
The question here to ask is… How can your organs function with the chemicals in your blood that tell your whole body and your brain that you are in DANGER all the time? How will your organ and brain function normally, never mind optimisation… when they are partially shut and are in survival mode…?
You might be wondering – how can I do it? can I do it? Am I capable of healing my inner sphere?
Possible objections to coaching may arise when one is sceptical about their ability to heal their inner sphere. It’s natural to wonder if it’s even possible to heal from emotional, mental, and spiritual traumas. A common concern is, “How can I do it? Can I do it? Am I capable of healing my inner sphere?” These doubts are valid as they stem from the fear of the unknown, lack of knowledge, and uncertainty about the healing process.
The mind often wonders if one has the intellectual capacity to heal, the emotional and spiritual capabilities and skillset needed to embark on the healing journey. However, this is where the mind often fails as it tries to protect oneself from disappointment or negative feelings that may occur. It may make one feel powerless and incapable, even when it tries to protect them. This avoidance of uncomfortable feelings is counterproductive and only delays the healing process.
The truth is that one may not have all the skills and knowledge of how to deal with their wounds and fears all the time, and that’s okay. One needs to develop these skills and abilities to be more powerful, confident, and in control. The set of skills required for healing is different from the actual healing process. Asking, “Can I do it?” is the wrong question; instead, one should ask, “How can I do this?”
More critical questions to ask oneself are, “Do I want to do it? Am I ready to do it? Am I committed to my growth, expanding my awareness, progress, and gaining wisdom?” It’s important to remember that healing is not getting healthy – it is getting hurt and confused. It’s not about whether one can do it or not, but rather a willingness to take the necessary steps towards healing. Healing is making choices, different choices that are beneficial to us, perhaps not immediately, but in the long run.
If one doesn’t know how to heal, they are correct. They don’t know how energy works or much about their inner world. However, the best news is that their energy and body know precisely what to do to heal. It’s the mind that needs to open up and listen to one’s energy, body, emotions, and feelings. The process of healing is about transforming unhealed wounds, strong fears, and memories of experiences into growth, progress, awareness, and wisdom.
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That is a very legitimate and valid concern – after all, you haven’t done anything on that scale before, and you do not necessarily know what is needed, what are the conditions for healing required, what are the consequences of healing, the side effect of the healing process and what that process actually looks like…
You would be absolutely right if you said that you do not know how to heal because you – as your mind – do not know. Your energy knows how to heal, your body knows how to heal. All your mind has to do is trust them and LISTEN to them and make informed decisions when something is going to go missing or you get a little stuck in the process.
You might be addressing your intellectual capacity to heal – your emotional, spiritual and intellectual capabilities and skillset – can I do it? Do I have the skills to do it? Do I have what it takes to heal?
Do you see what your mind is doing there? it wants to protect you, it wants to save you from disappointment or any negative feelings that might occur.
Does it really protect you? Do you really feel protected?
Doesn’t it make you feel powerless and incapable? – even when it tries to protect you?
Doesn’t it smell a bit like a failure when it doesn’t even want you to try…
Avoiding negative, uncomfortable feelings which may be very vague and unidentified and as such, not fully materialised and processed, therefore subconscious and less detectable, visible – harder to deal with…
The point here is not whether you can do it and whether you have the skills to embark on the healing journey…
The truth is that you DO NOT have them – not all of the time and not in every situation. If you had the skills, the knowledge of how to deal with your wounds and your fears – you would most probably not have any…
You need those skills, and you need to develop them. You need these issues to develop your coping skills – to be more powerful, confident and in control.
The set of skills and abilities required are completely different from the actual healing. Many gurus and coaches do not seem to make that distinction clear.
Can I do it? – this is the wrong question here.
How can I do this – is a much better one.
More important questions are:
Do I want to do it?
Am I ready to do it?
Am I committed to my growth, expanding my awareness, progress and gaining wisdom?
What if I don’t know how to heal…?
If you don’t know how to heal, you are correct. You have no idea how to heal – you don’t know how the energy works, you don’t know much about your inner world… – your mind hasn’t got a clue…
Your energy is polluted with unhealed wounds, with strong fears … it contains memories of experiences that have to be transformed into growth, progress, awareness and wisdom.
The best possible news at this point is that your energy knows exactly what to do, and your body knows exactly what to do (compare to healing physical wounds). It is your mind that doesn’t know what it is doing. It has to open up and listen to your energy, your body – your emotions and feelings, too.
TIME – do I have time for this? Really?
One of the most common concerns that arise is that of time. People may question whether they have the time to commit to coaching and whether it is really worth the investment. However, the reality is that time is not something that can be created or found – it is something that must be managed and prioritised. By investing time in coaching, you are actually taking a step towards increasing your capacity to deal with more and cope with life’s challenges more effectively.
Healing is a powerful tool that not only frees up time but also gives you back control over your focus and attention. When you are able to manage your focus and attention, you can also manage your time more effectively. By healing, you can free up time that would otherwise be spent protecting your wounds and maintaining fear-based boundaries. This can have a profound impact on the way you experience time, making you feel more present and grounded and in the present moment.
Time is not just a measurement of seconds, minutes, and hours – it is also a reflection of the spaces we create in our lives. In order to meet our needs and achieve our goals, we must create space for ourselves. This includes time to address our inner challenges, such as emotional, mental, and spiritual issues. By taking the time to care for ourselves, we are sending a clear message to others about the value we place on our well-being and the importance of healthy boundaries.
Ultimately, our time on earth is a precious gift that we have been given to grow, expand, and express ourselves. If we allow our wounds and fears to hold us back, we risk missing out on the full experience of life. By investing time in healing and coaching, we can unlock our full potential and live more fully in the present moment. So, don’t let the objection of time hold you back from pursuing the life you truly desire.
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You don’t have time. Correct again. We live in a time where you create time.
You are not only giving yourself time when you heal as the healing process happens but by healing you increase your capacity to deal with more, to cope with more – so it does seem like you have more time.
Healing gives you back the power over focus – managing your time means managing your focus, and your attention. When you control your focus and what you pay attention to, you control time.
Healing will free a lot of time that you spend on protecting your wounds, and keeping your fear-based boundaries in place, you need time to monitor your environment relentlessly, non-stop. Healing will shift your focus, and this will most likely change the way you experience time. It should also make you more present, and more grounded which should increase the perceived amount of time you spend on doing things.
Time is space – if you do not have space- you do not have time. You need to have spaces to meet your needs.
You also need some time to face your inner challenges, address any internal- emotional, mental or spiritual- issues, and increase your inner capacity to face challenges.
If you don’t have time for yourself – what does it say to the people in your life? how does it teach them to treat you? if you don’t have enough time for yourself – what are your boundaries like?
If you take time to take care of your inner affairs, it sends a clear message:
I value my well-being, especially my inner well-being.
I value my emotions, my energy and my thoughts – I keep them in check.
I have a well-defined identity with healthy boundaries, and I respect them, and I want everyone else to respect them too.
We were given that particular space and time in it, to grow and expand, to progress, to gather experiences, and to express our inner Self. This is what is eternal – this is what we are going to take with us at the end of our time on Earth.
You were given the time to experience Self, to change what you wanted to change and to heal whatever needed to be healed.
Do you really want to carry on with your life knowing that you have wounds and fears, and they are really impacting you in every possible area of life and many ways…?
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Money. I don’t have money…
Money can often be a significant obstacle when it comes to personal development coaching. However, it is essential to recognise that money is a tool, and every financial transaction is an energetic exchange. When you invest in your healing, you increase your energetic capacity to exchange and create more abundance in your life.
By healing, you boost your confidence, self-belief, and emotional, intellectual, and spiritual capacity. You will value your work more, take more calculated risks, and feel more in control, which can lead to more significant opportunities and promotions.
The money you spend on personal development is not material but rather an investment in yourself and your growth. Can you put a price on a healed inner sphere? How much would you pay for feeling happier, stronger, more confident, grounded, present, and in control? When you invest in yourself, you become smarter and send a powerful message to those around you that you value your inner world and expect others to respect it as well.
Inner child syndrome, most often than not, produces a scarcity mindset, which can impact your earning potential. By healing, you will discover your inherent value and ask for what you’re worth, leading to an increase in income.
Moreover, personal development can help you identify and monetize your skills, talents, or content. Healing will free you from your fears and limiting beliefs and uncover the load you were meant to drop on this planet for others.
The money you spend on personal development coaching is an investment in yourself and your growth. It can increase your earning potential, uncover hidden talents, and send a powerful message to those around you that you value yourself. By healing, you create more time, space, and abundance in your life, leading to a more fulfilled and purposeful existence. The question here is – how much is it worth to you?
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Money is a tool, and every money exchange is an energetic exchange.
If you need to make more money – you’d better heal, you’d better have some energy to exchange.
Increase your confidence and self-belief.
Increase your capacity – emotional, intellectual and spiritual.
Regulate your nervous system so you can focus better and be more productive.
When you heal, you will value your work more, you will be more courageous and take more opportunities, take more calculated and solidly evaluated risks.
You will feel more confident, in power and in control. The fears will subside.
You will have your boundaries – aligned with your character – not your sensitivities and fears.
How much does your energy cost?
How valuable is it? Compare healed with unhealed energy.
How will you ask for a promotion if you have wounds and fears impacting your confidence and courage?
Inner child syndrome produces a scarcity mindset – if you want to have a more abundant type of mind – you need to heal.
When you heal, your will discover your inherent value – you will ask for a raise, you will charge more – you will increase how much you think you are worth – the key to more money. Critical.
The money you spend on personal development is the money you will keep as an investment in Self and growth – it is not material – it is eternal and limitless.
Can you put a price on a healed inner sphere?
How much would you pay for feeling happier and stronger inside, for feeling more confident, for being more grounded, more present and in control?
When you heal – you are likely to discover the load you were meant to drop on this planet for others – a talent, a skill, or content that is ready to be monetised.
When you invest in yourself and you change, you become smarter – what message does it send to those around you?
I take care of my inner world, I value my inner sphere, I respect my Self and I expect you to do the same.
How is healing going to help me grow, be smarter, be more powerful and wiser?
One of the most important laws of the universe is to grow and expand.
There are two types of growth: linear and vertical.
Your growth can be and should be multidirectional, multidimensional.
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It is not about… higher, more, bigger, better, greater, faster…
It is about growing your inner spaces horizontally.
It is about growing your control over the energy, what you manifest with your mind and how you grow your control over your emotions and feelings.
Growing means more energy, more power, more control, more positivity,
Growing your internal resources – practising accessing them and using them.
It is about growing your internal spaces and nurturing your inner self. It is about meeting your inner needs and growing your satisfaction and fulfilment.
It is also about self-actualisation and growing your identity and nurturing your personality.
It is not about growing your expectations – it is about expecting to grow.
You need to have an internal growth container to make sure you grow in multiple ways, after all, growth is progress and progress means happiness …
Have you ever been chasing happiness? When you progress and grow – it is only my personal experience – happiness and joy start to chase you!
Healing is a powerful tool that can assist in personal growth, and it can help you become smarter, more powerful, and wiser. Growth and expansion are fundamental laws of the universe, and there are two types of growth: linear and vertical. However, to achieve multidimensional growth, you need to focus on developing your inner self horizontally.
It’s not about achieving more significant heights, being bigger, better, greater, or faster. Rather, it’s about growing your inner spaces, enhancing your control over the energy that you manifest with your mind, and expanding your ability to manage your emotions and feelings. As you grow, you’ll gain more energy, power, control, and positivity, as well as become more adept at accessing and utilising your internal resources.
Growing your internal spaces requires nurturing your inner self, meeting your inner needs, and cultivating satisfaction and fulfilment. Additionally, growth involves self-actualisation, developing your identity, and nurturing your personality. The key to growth is not about growing your expectations, but rather, expecting to grow.
To ensure that you grow in multiple ways, you need to create an internal growth container. Progress and growth lead to happiness, so it’s essential to keep growing to keep yourself happy.
Have you ever felt like you’re endlessly chasing happiness? In my personal experience, when you focus on progressing and growing, happiness and joy will begin to chase you.
Healing is an integral part of growth and expansion. It can help you identify and overcome limiting beliefs, heal past wounds, and expand your consciousness. Through healing, you can release negative energy and emotions that may be hindering your growth and progress
Healing can help you grow, and become smarter, more powerful, and wiser. Focusing on developing your inner self, nurturing your internal spaces, and utilising your internal resources will assist you in achieving multidimensional growth. Remember, growth is progress, and progress leads to happiness.
If you are ready to deal with your inner child’s wounds, find out how The Inner Child Healing Programme can help you today:
